Welcome to Avengers Mansion
by OrangeflowerOJ
Summary: The trolls somehow end up in avengers mansion; lets see what happens. (No game) Also, updates will not be as frequent as you may hope because I sorta procrastinate a lot... :3 Also, yes, I know, the image is terrible made but I did it on my iPad the the app I used has a shitty color selection.
1. Chapter 1

Ok, please let this work. i am kinda playing around with this because i did somethhing wrong again. here is (hopefully, the real first chapter. it is short i know, sorry.

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"What is going on!" A particularly angry guy screamed.

"Where are we?!"

"Calm down kk." muttered his friend.

"I will not calm down until someone explains!"

"I believe we have arrived on Earth.'' said a mysterious looking girl.

"Uh, i think we better find out what is happening though." said yet another boy nervously.

"Ehehe calm down karkles." cackled a girl.

"Stop calling me that!"

"I require a towel!" cried a sweaty boy with rippling muscles.

"When do you not need one!"

"Purrlease stop fighting!" a cat-looking girl pleaded.

"Everyone just calm your tits and slam a motherfucking faygo."

"I will not slam a faygo! That shit is horrible!"

"Oh my cod, will you just stop fighting!"

"Whatever." grumbled a fish looking boy with an odd accent.

"For now I think we should find the details of our predicament."

"Pawllux do something!"

"What thould I do!?" a boy lisped.

"Oh, hey Tavroooossss." smirked a girl that had eight pupils in one eye.

"Uh..."

"Leave Tavbro alone motherfucker!"

"Calm yourselves!"

"Where the flying fuck are we!"

"I think I can answer that question." a new voice announced over the yells of the twelve others.

The odd kid's heads all turned to the sound.

"Welcome to Avengers Mansion."

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That was the first chapter, I hope you liked it. More shall be coming very soon i hope :)


	2. Chapter 2

The twelve people were odd. That was all Tony Stark could think. They all had black hair, grey skin, and weird candy corn like horns on their heads.

The majority of them had yellow eyes, save a few with glasses were he could not make out the color. All in all they were weird looking.

When Captain America stepped out to welcome them, one of the 'weirdos' spoke up.

"Hee hee, i smell you. Delicious candy red mixed with white and blue." she cackled.

"And the man behind you, sweet honey yellow with more red metal." she continued, pointing her empty gaze to Tony.

"That's great Terezi. Now maybe if we knew who they fucking are." grumbled the exceptionally loud one from before.

"Im Iron Man." he explained., stepping foreword.

"This is Captain America, Hawkeye, Black Widow, Bruce Banner (otherwise known as the Hulk), and Thor." he added, pointing to everyone else with him.

"We are the avengers." he said proudly.

"Tho, why are you drethed like that?" Sollux spoke up, suppressing a small laugh.

"What?" asked Hawkeye, slightly loosening the grip he had on his bow.

"I thaid, why are you drethed like that." repeated Sollux, looking angrier now.

Before Hawkeye could say anything else, he was interrupted.

"Whatever, they look like a bunch of losers." snickered Vriska.

"Please excuse her. Vriska is always this rude." Kanaya said.

"I am Kanaya Maryam." she introduced.

"Karkat Vantas." grumbled Karkat.

"I am the sea prince, Eridan Ampora." added the fish boy snottily.

"Heh, I'm Terezi Pyrope." Terezi introduced herself grinning.

"Uh, my name is Tavros. Nitram that is." stuttered the boy, squirming in his wheelchair.

"Gamzee Makara motherfuckers." said Gamzee airily.

"Tholluxth Captor, the computer geniuth." Sollux said with another small smile.

"Im Feferi Peixes." said Feferi happily.

"I am STRONG Equius Zahak. Oh, and, um, do any of you have a towel i may borow?" asked Equius sheepishly.

"Silly Equius. Im Nepeta Leijon by the way. And my furrend is Aradia Medigo, she doesn't talk much." said Nepeta excitedly.

All eyes then turned to Vriska, the only troll who hadn't introduced herself.

"What are you all looking at?" she commanded, looking slightly flustered.

Terezi gave another small cackle and Vriska rolled her eyes.

"Ugh, fine. I'm Vriska Serket." she finally grumbled.

The twelve odd kids then turned back to the avengers.

The two groups looked at each other for a while, seizing up and possible threats.

Finally, Iron Man spoke.

"So what are you?" he asked the question that had been on all the avenger's minds.

Karkat held himself a little taller. "We are trolls of course. From the planet Alternia. And I and leader of this team."

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Ok, I do not really like this story all that much just so ya know but I will try to keep it up for you people who seem to like it, ok? :3


	3. Chapter 3

"Trolls? You mean, like the ones under the bridge?" Hawkeye asked, looking as if he were confused or about to laugh.

"No athhole, not like your thitty human thtory!" Cried Sollux, almost spitting.

"Jeez, alright." Mumbled Hawkeye, a smirk twitching at his lips.

For a bit there was a stretch of awkward silence. The trolls and human heroes shuffled about bait until the Black Widow finally spoke up, breaking the silence.

"So why are you 'trolls' here?" She asked with a heavy Russian accent.

"I don't mutherfuckin' know." Inturupted Gamzee before anyone could say anything.

"Well, I do fucking remember just sitting in my hive when there was this fricking flash of light." Added Karkat.

"Hive?" Iron Man asked, confused.

"The trolls equivalent to your human 'house'." Said Kanaya, her voice level and almost bored.

"Uh, that happened to me too." Tavros spoke up, his voice a nervous whisper.

Bruce Banner looked at the bull-looking boy in the wheelchair with sympathy.

"What happened to you?" He asked quietly. The room suddendly became even more quiet. This was a sore subject for Tavros and everyone knew it.

"None of your motherfucin' buisness." Growled Gamzee, placing a protective hand on his friend's shoulder.

"Ha." Sneered Vriska, earning a glare from the clown.

"I pushed pupa here off a cliff while role playing." She admitted, sounding somewhat proud.

Bruce looked horrified. "Why would you do something like that!?"

Vriska opened her mouth to reply but was interrupted.

"Does it really matter!" Cried Eridan.

"Eridan, stop being so rude!" Gasped Feferi.

"Yes Mr. Ampurra, purrlease be nice with everyone!" Nepeta fretted.

"Who fucking cares what fish breath does!" Cried Karkat angrily.

"Be more respectful towards a blue blood, mutant blood." Said Equius, starting to sweat again.

"Everyone motherfucin' calm down already!"

"I say let them get over their differences." Smirked Vriska.

"I can smell how agitated everyone is and it does not smell good. Stop yelling!"

"I believe it is in everyone's best interests if we settle this peacefully." Aradia's calm voice spoke.

"Do you guys ever stop fighting?" Snickered Hawkeye.

"Don't get involved in this!" Cried Bruce.

"Well we can't just stand here!" Retorted Iron Man.

"I agree with Iron dude, we thould do thomething about thith!"

"Why does anyone fucking care! Why are we even here? That fucking question still needs to be answered!"

"If we wait a bit longer i am sure the answer will come!" Kanaya cried, getting upset.

"Don't tell me what to do!" Said Eridan pulling out his gun.

Kanaya's lipstick revved into a chainsaw and was raised above the troll's head.

Gamzee hefted his juggling clubs as Feferi raised her trident. Soon, all the trolls had pulled weapons seemingly out of nowhere.

Karkat tightened his grip on the sickle and growled at Sollux who had his hands raised threateningly.

Tavros nervously nurtured his lance, facing a sneering Vriska who was armed with her dice.

Nepeta's claws had unsheathed and Terezi had lifted her cane threateningly. Equius, who was sweating heavily was facing Hawkeye's arrow.

Iron Man's laser began to glow as he pointed the metal glove at the trolls. Thor had tightened his grip and raised his hammer. Lightning flashed above, shortly followed by a rumbling chorus of thunder.

Avengers mansion had become silent once again, making the next sound painfully louder then it should have been. The door to the mansion creaking open and almost a hundred shield agents poring in. At the head was director Maria Hill who healed her gun in a threatening fashion.

"You, aliens. You are under arrest by order of shield."

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Alright, one thing. I know that Maria Hill is (maybe) not the director of shield. It has been soooooo long since I watched that movie, i am sorry but you will have to go through twitch the fact that I made her director. Sorry guys


	4. Chapter 4

Maria Hill stared in surprise at the scene in front of her. Twelve alien-looking kids welding weapons facing the avengers, equally armed. All of their heads tuned to her as she spoke, but the director held a stern pose.

"Surrender now or we will take you down." She ordered after nothing happened. Terezi cackled once more and set her cane down. Tavros gladly stowed away his lance as the other trolls put their weapons away too.

"Who the fuck are you?" Asked Karkat, lowering his blade. Sollux put down his hands and relaxed his tense muscles a bit. Aradia looked as bored as ever and Kanaya turned her weapons back into a tube of lipstick. Eridan grumbled but did not put down his gun. All the trolls then turned to the director, expecting an answer.

"I am Director Maria Hill of shield." She announced.

"What ith thield?" Lisped Sollux. Now it was the avenger's turn to speak.

"Shield is a government organization and that is all you have to know." Said Iron Man almost haughtily.

"Wow, thanks for that amazing fucking answer, fuckass." Grumbled Karkat.

Maria stood still, not giving up an aura of calm, but her thoughts were racing. Who were these aliens really? Why were they here? How did they come? Was this another alien attack so soon after the last one? The kids looked harmless enough but she dared not take any chances.

At Director Hill's order, the shield agents put down their guns and headed in to arrest the aliens. They made a move to confiscate the weapons but Karkat thought quickly.

"Quick asshats, captholougue (probably spelled wrong) your weapons, we may need those!" With a few quick nods, the trolls had their strife specific back in their fetch moduses, much to the surprise of shield.

"Where did you put the weapons?" demanded Maria, taking a step foreward. Karkat smirked.

"In our syladexes fuckass." he said. Sollux snickered and whispered something about stupid humans. Maria went back to her unfazed look as the shield agents rounded up the trolls and restrained their hands.

Once the trolls were safely transported to the helicarier outside, the director tunred to the avengers.

"Just because you saved the world from Loki does not mean you can do whatever you want. What were you doing with those aliens?" she asked in her commanding voice.

"We wished to fist gather information on the strange life forms." explained Thor. Hawkeye snickered.

"And then take them down."

"Yeah, well shield's got it under control so dont interfere alright?" she said and stalked off to the helicarier.

"Nice to see she hasn't changed much." muttered Tony Stark.

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I will have more for all you lovelies later, sorry. Thank you to everyone who liked and followed :3


	5. Chapter 5

Ok, so i finally got this chapter done. I hope you are not too disappointed in it.

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A loud humming vibrated through the helicarier as it flew. The trolls had been each locked into separate, secured cells. Maria Hill now stood in her office looking at a surprisingly vivid security camera footage. Karkat was currently banging his head on the wall adjacent to Sollux's.

"Fuck this shit... Stupid flesh monkeys..." He was grumbling angrily.

"Wow, KK you're taking thith better then i thought you would." snikeres Sollux.

"I swear when we get out of here..." The angry Karkat hissed. Sollux just laughed some more and started talking to Tavros on his other side. All the trolls were in a line going Karkat, Sollux, Tavros, Aradia, Terezi, Kanaya, Nepeta, Vriska, Gamzee, Equius, Feferi, and lastly, Eridan. Aradia was quietly humming to herself.

"Whatcha singing?" Terezi asked, her voice having lost just a bit of it's cackle.

"Oh, just a song that i just remembered. I haven't been able to get it out of my head." She answered with a sigh.

"Maybe I know the song, sing it out loud Aradia." Added Nepeta.

"It would be something to get our minds off our recent predicament." Agreed Kanaya.

"Oh alright, and you all know the song.'' Aradia finally said. She had the attention off all twelve trolls and an interested Maria Hill now.

"When nights are dark, and not even the moons, that shine above the crumbling ruins, can penetrate the sadness in you heart..." Karkat's head seemed to shoot up when she started to sing. It was the main song in one of his favorite romcoms, A Night of Love and Sorrow (the shortened title). Needless to say, Karkat joined in singing.

"... Please take my hand and follow me, please dance with me, i want you to be happy, i want to shine the light within your soul..." Nepeta and Feferi had started to sing, along with Equius.

"... And i know you're so much better then, what you show outside, i know you're so much better when, when you do not hide..." Now, with Gamzee singing loudest, all of the trolls except Vriska, Kanaya, and Tavros were singing.

"... So come and dance with me, beneath the shining stars, beneath the flying whale lusii like Alternia is ours, so come and dance with me, you know you can be true, because there's no one else for me then only you..." This time everyone was singing with increasing volume as Hill watched with awe. The next few lyrics, in the movie, the other character sung, so Eridan took it upon himself to sing louder then ever.

"Oh, wwhen i see you standin there, the moons shinin in your eyes, you make me smile, just for a wwhile, unlike one of Gamzee's sopor pies!" The last lyric was an inside joke between the trolls: one time, they were all watching A Night of Love and Sorrow together, singing the same song, but making up new lyrics. The 'cleverness' behind the pie reference was that it seemed like Gamzee, because he ate the pies, could not stop smiling at everything. ((Back to story:)) Most of the trolls giggled but continued singing, nearing the end of the song, their voices dropped just a bit in volume.

"So come and dance with me, beneath the shining stars, beneath the flying whale lusii like Alternia is ours, so come and dance with me, you know you can be true, because there's no on else for me then only you, please come sit next to me, i want you to know, that i feel red, i'm flushed for you, please come i'll comfort you, don't run away, please always be here to stay, and i'll try and be, the best matesprite i can be, for you." The song ended in an almost hushed whisper as Directer Maria Hill stood, jaw-slacked.

When she heard the trolls singing it sounded like much more then just a simple love song. The words sounded almost like they were buried deep with emotion and meaning. She had never head the song but when it was sung she felt as if the Director had known it all her life. With an almost longing sigh Maria regained her posture just before a shield agent came running into her office.

"Director, we are getting energy readings that are off the charts! Something big is coming, it looks like some sort of inter-dimensional wormhole!" He cried. Maria stood up and strode quickly over to him.

"Where is it?" She commanded.

"Right here on the helicarier!" Gasped the agent. Hill's eyes widened in surprise as a flash of intensely bright and colorful light exploded in front of the troll's cells. Everyone shielded their eyes, including the Director in front of her video camera feed. When vision blurred back to life all thirteen of them saw a completely shell-shocked Kankri Vantas in the containment cell room.

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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA :3 cliffhangerrrrrrrr

and yes, i completely made up that horrible song and the movie. if there already is a human movie called that, oh well, sorry, i didn't know. Once again, thanks to all you who like this story and follow it, because this story seriously sucks :3


	6. Chapter 6

yay, quickest new chapter yet! i bet you yous love me, don't deny it :3 anyways, i tries a bit more flexible, narrating sort of thing with this chapter. if you think i could improve with it or you don't like what i did with the way the story is written, don't hesitate to tell me. also, if any of you have any ground-breaking ideas about what could happen next, i am open to suggestions. well, now that that's taken care of. enjoy chapter six :3

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The troll had horns simular to Karkat's, still nubby but a little bigger. He was currently looking as if he just saw a ghost. (human refrence)

"Kankri!" shrieked Karkat from within the see-through walls of his cell. The red-sweatered troll could not hear the cry but turned his head to Karkat when the younger cancer banged his fists on the wall.

"Karkat? Karkat, what are you doing here!?" Kankri cried. He then spotted the rest of the trolls.

"What are all of you doing here!? And why are you locked into those tiny cells? What have you possibly done to get into so much trouble! This is very irresponsible Karkat, i am very ashamed-" Kankri's rant was cut off with Karkat smashing through the wall of his cell. Maria gasped at the certainly impossible strength display.

"Why didn't you just do that earlier?" Grumbled Eridan, busting out of his own cell. One by one the trolls used their weapons to crash out of the seemingly flimsy cells, then gather around Kankri. Oh yeah, Kankri was currently getting yelled at by Karkat.

"What the fuck are you blubbering about, nooksniffer! You just 'magically' appeared here with us on this stupid human flying thing and the first thing you do is go into a fucking lecture!" He ranted.

"What the fuck is even wrong with you!"

"You know, Karkat and Kankri may be different in character but they both go on long rants." Commented Kanaya to Tavros.

"Fuckass." Grumbled Karkat just before another shield agent burst into Director Maria Hill's office.

"Director, there are more energy signatures!" she cried.

"Where are they and how many?" demanded Maria, this was getting rediculous.

"Three, all in the containment cell room!'' answered the agent before running off. Maria Hill shielded her eyes with her arms once again just before an even brighter flash.

There were cries of surprise from the cell room and three more trolls apeared. One was extremly tall and lanky with wild hair. He looked simular to Gamzee, but was dressed in a black full-body suit decorated with bones and had larger, curvier horns. Oh, and his mouth was stiched closed.

The second troll closely resembled Terezi but wore a teal and black outfit with red boots, different sunglasses, and larget, pointier horns. She was currently on a simularly colored skateboard looking utterly bewindered.

The last troll looked the oddest, in Maria's opinion. He wore a weird yellow and black body suit, interestingly decorated. Poofs of unruly black hair stuck out from underneath a large, bulky crash-helmate. A yellow, forked tungue was currently lolling out of his agape mouth. This troll looked slighly like Sollux, mostly because of the long double horns on his head.

"Kurloz!" cried Gamzee, runing to the first troll.

"Latula? Is that you i smell?" cackled Terezi, making her way over to the skateboard troll.

There was no 'Is that you?' for the last troll though. Sollux was staring at him, mouth equally agape.

"Mituna?" he finally mustered, shuffling over to Mituna.

"Tholluth?" Asked Mituna, his voice almost completly un-understandable beneath a thick lisp.

"Wahth goin onc, Tholluth?" he asked, almost whimpering. Sollux sighed and patted the older troll with a word of reasurement.

Meanwhile, Kurloz was hand-signing rapid fire to Gamzee who was talking equally fast.

"Kurloz, what are you doing here!?"

'I-D-O-N-T-K-N-O-W'

But, OBVIOUSLY, he was signing in alternian sign language so Director Hill, who knew a bit of the english version, had not a clue what he was saying. The conversation continues:

'S-O-W-H-A-T-D-O-W-E-D-O-N-O-W'

"Gee, i didn't motherfucking think of that." Gamzee muttered.

'W-E-L-L-W-E-S-H-O-U-L-D-S-E-E-H-O-W-E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E-I-S-C-O-P-I-N-G-W-I-T-H-T-H-I-S' signed Kurloz with a slight smirk. Gamzee returned the smile and the two walked over to Latula who was now being motherly over Mituna.

"Baby, are you alrigh? You're not hurt are you?" she fretted over her matesprite. Mituna squirmed kinda reluctantly away from her tight hug.

"Tulipc i'th fine!" he said awkwardly spitish because of the lisp. Latula looked uncertain while Terezi facepalmed.

"Hey asshats, you wanna go or what?" yelled Karkat, tightening his grip on the still present sickle. Tavros nodded quickly and all sixteen trolls ran out of the room as shield agents poured in after them.

The trolls sprinted through the wide hallways of the helicarrier, Equius knocking out any humans that got in the way. Within a few minutes they had all managed to make it to the main control room. It was a giant circular room with tons of windows, so that they could see they were currently flying somewhere over the statue of liberty. ("weird human shit")

Agent Coulson was now looking at the escaped aliens with no gun on him. How could he be that stupid! (lol, he just forgot it, calm down) He whipped his head to look at his surroundings quickly, trying to find anything that could be used as a weapon.

There it is! Something probably completly useless, but Coulson threw it at the trolls anyway.

"AAAAAAUUUUGHHHHH!" screamed Karkat right before the emergancy bail bucket got lodged onto his head. (please don't ask why there is a bail bucket, there just is :3)

"AAAAAAAUGHGHGHGHGHGHG! SOMEONE GET IT OFF OF ME, GET IT OFF DAMMIT!" he screeched, running around in circles and flailing his arms. Chaos then ensued. First off, Kankri got into a lecture about Karkat being careless and social justic or some shit, Mituna began to flip his shit, Terezi was howling in laughter, and basically everyone was either screaming, gasping, laughing, or talking. That is... exept for poor Kurloz.

"WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING!" Karkat screamed, proceding to ram into a snickering Sollux, managing to release his head from the bucket. The bucket then in Sollux's arms who shreiked and threw the bucket away like a hot potato. So that is what happened next. The trolls playing an awkward, screaming game of hot potato.

The entire time almost all of the humans on the helicarrier were watching in complete confusion.

"What the hell are they doing with that bucket? Are they afraid of it or something?" muttered Hill to herself just as said bucket got 'passed' to Equius. The strong troll flung it away with so much force that it went sailing out of the carrier and a good half a mile away with a splish in the water.

((A bit later))

(catch up): All of the trolls' weapons had successfully been confiscated. They had been locked into Loki/Hulk's cell surrounded by ten agents. They were all in a sort of traumotized silence, even Karkat and Kankri. Just then, Director Maria Hill walked inot the room.

"Bring the first alien in for questioning."


	7. Chapter 7- A SIDE NOTE

ok, so this is just a note so you guys kinda know where i am coming from. i made this fanfic sorta mixed up and whack with the trolls. here is the thing, Kankri, Mituna, Latula, and Kurloz and any other of those i may put in here are simply Karkat, Sollux, Terezi, and Gamzee's family, kay? i know that doesn't make too much sense, but it _is a_ fanfiction. yeah, i just wanted to clear that up.

~OrangeflowerOJ


	8. Chapter 8

Everyone thank Box of Tomato Fairy for making this chapter possible so soon.

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They decided to start with Karkat, seeing as he was the alleged team leader. The interview went something like this.

Interviewer (I): So you are Karkat Vantas, is that correct?

Karkat (K): YEAH FUCKASS, I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT.

I: And you are team leader?

K: ARE YOU DEAF OR SOMETHING? I THOUGHT WE WENT OVER THIS ALREADY!?

I: Tell me something about trolls. Anything.

K: WHY DO YOU FUCKING WANT TO KNOW? UGH. I GUESS I COULD TRY AND CRAM SOME INFORMATION ABOUT THE MORONIC BLOOD CASTE SYSTEM INTO YOUR PRIMITIVE HUMAN THINK PAN.

I: What is the blood caste system?

K: OK, SO BASICALLY TROLLS HAVE DIFFERENT COLORED BLOOD. THE FUCKING HIGHBLOODS ARE PINK, PURPLE, INDOGO, BLUE, AND OTHER COLORS LIKE THAT. FEFERI HAS PINK BLOOD, FISH FU- I MEAN ERIDAN HAS PURPLE, GAMZEE AND KURLOZ ARE FUCKING INDIGOBLOOD, THE SUBJIGLATORS, AND EQUIUS AND VRISKA HAVE BLUE BLOOD. THE QUEEN OF ALTERNIA IS A FUSIA BLOOD. FEREFI IS HER HEIRESS AND NEXT IN LINE TO THE THRONE.

I: Making Miss. Peixes the princess to your planet?

K: YEAH, IN A WAY. I GUESS.

I: Are there any other colors? (*scribbling everything down madly)

K: FUCK YEAH. THE MIDBLOODS ARE MORE TEAL, JADE, AND OLIVE COLORS. TEREZI AND LATULA HAVE TEAL BLOOD, KANAYA, ALONG WITH MOST RAINBOW-DRINKERS, IS A JADEBLOOD, AND NEPETA HAS FUCKING OLIVE. THEY AREN'T REALLY SPECIAL BUT STILL FUCKING HIGHER ON THE HEMOSPECTRUM THEN THE LOWBLOODS.

I: (*wondering what a rainbow-drinker and subjiglator is but wants to continue with the subject at hand) So what colors are the lowbloods? (*very exited)

K: THE LOWBLOODS, WHO TREATED THE FUCKING POOREST ARE YELLOWBLOODS, BROWN, ORANGE, AND THE LOWEST, RUST RED. SOLLUX AND MITUNA ARE YELLOW, TAVROS HAS ORANGE-ISH BROWN, AND ARADIA HAS THE FUCKING RUST RED.

I: All so interesting! So what color is your blood!?

K: (*eye twitch)

~~~One broken nose and three tranquilizer shots later~~~

I to Maria Hill(MH): (*tells everything excitedly through bloody bandage wrapped around face) ... And the lowest is rust red. I think it would be orderly to interrogate the rest in this caste system order. To get the different-blooded points of veiw.

(MH): Hm. Alright, do what you want, but I want more information. Much more. By the end we will have to know about these aliens intentions and everything else there is to know.

I: We can do that.

* * *

I am making progress.


	9. Chapter 9

So, the interviews will be sort of uneventful. I will try to add something sunny for explaining into each of them though.

* * *

I: So you are Aradia Medigo?

Aradia (A): Yes. I am.

I: And you have a rust red blood color?

A: H0w d0 y0u kn0w this? But, yes. That is my bl00d c0l0r.

I: Your friend Karkat told us about the hobo-spectrum, or... something like that.

A: The hem0spectrum?

I: Yes, that's the word! Anyway, would you possibly care to go deeper into rust bloods specifically? Or is there nothing too much important about them in general?

A: Well, m0st rustbl00ds, including me, have the ability t0 c0mmune with the dead.

I: (*suddenly very creeped out) Uhh... erm... well. That's... interesting.

A: Yes, isn't it?

I: Uh... (*beginning to sweat a bit)

A: Is everything alright?

I: Uhhhhh. Just give me a second! (*Runs out of interrogation room. Wheezing in shock and a bit of fright:) Voices... of the dead. Ok, you can do this. You got punched in the nose by an alien, you can do this. Pull yourself together. You got this.

A: (*Still in room wondering what got into the interrogator)

I: (*slightly strained) All is good now. I am good. Please continue with what you were saying.

A: Alright. Well, mar00nbl00ds are n0t all that special 0n the scale. They are the l0west 0n it after all.

I: Yes, alright, I suppose there is not that much more you can tell me I suppose.

A: Yes, I d0 n0t really kn0w what I c0uld tell y0u that w0uld be t00 interesting.

I: Ok, we'll I just have one more question. What was that song you were singing earlier?

A: Y0u mean the l0ve s0ng? It was just a s0ng fr0m 0ne 0f Karkat's fav0rite r0mantic m0vies. The sh0rtened title w0uld be A Night 0f L0ve And S0rrow.

I: You mean it wasn't special? But it sounded so... so amazing, meaningful!

A: Yes, tr0ll music and quite a l0t 0f 0ther things in 0ur culture can d0 that t0 humans.

I: Oh, well, I suppose this interview is over.

A: Alright.

* * *

I promise things will get more exiting after the interviews, after all... (dramatic pause) there is no sopor on earth. :3


	10. Chapter 10

Oh look, another chapter. Sorry this carppy excuse of a chapter took so long to write. I am, like, dead right now but I will try and speed things up some more. Stay with me guys.

* * *

I: So you are Tavros Nitram.

Tavros (T): uH,, yEAH.

I: So, is there anything special you can do? (*prepares for freaking out)

T: oH,, wELL I'VE GOT SOME PRETTY SICK BEATS,, uH,, tHATS WHAT GAMZEE SAID.

I: (*visibly sighing in relief) That's good, I was afraid you could talk to animals or something weird like that.

T: oH! BUT I CAN DO THAT! uH,, mOSTLY BULLS BUT I CAN COMMUNICATE WITH ALL SORTS OF ANIMALS!

I: Errrr. Please excuse me. (*runs out of room again.) Why me?! Why did I get this job! I wanted to be an architect but noooooo, I had to get mixed up with this!

T: (*can hear everything that Interviewer is saying) uH,, IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT?

I: What? Oh yes, fine. Everything is amazing, it's fantastic, it's so great that if it gets any more awesome then I may just die!

T: uH,,,,,,, aLRIGHT?

I: (*comes back in room with a forced, strained smile) Everything is gooooood.

T: (*squirming uncomfortably in chair)

I: So Tavros, tell us more about the... er... (*checks notes) brown and orange bloods.

T: oH,, wELL, mOST OF US CAN TALK TO ANIMALS, lIKE ME. bUT, uH, THERE IS NOT REALLY MUCH SPECIAL I CAN REMEMBER. i THINK...

I: (*looking slightly output) Oh. Well, alright then.

I: NEXT!

T: uHHHH,,,

* * *

I know, it was horrible. That's why you get two horrible one in one day! Yay! Lol, sorry though.


	11. Chapter 11

Nothing to add.

* * *

I: Sollux Captor, correct?

Sollux (S): The only.

I: I understand you are a yellowblood.

S: That2 riight. (*looks proud)

I: (*strained again) So, what can.. what can yellowbloods do?

S: Man, we're the be2t. Yellowblood2 are p2iioniic2. That mean2 we have totally awe2ome p2iioniic power2.

I: (*slowly inches away) Psionic... powers? Like, uh, what?

S: (*smirks) Oh, liitle thiing2 liike optiic bla2t2, floatiing around, 2ome random liightniing 2tuff.

I: (*sweating profoundly and going pale) Does that mean, you can, sort of,pick things up and move them around too?

S: Oh cour2e. (*getting idea)

I: IM GONNA NEED BACKUP IN HERE!

S: (*uses psionics to pin Interviewer to wall and try to run out) HA HA!

I: HEEEEELP MEEEEEE!

(*sleeping gas pours into room onto unsuspecting Sollux... and Interviewer)

I: Zzzzzzzz

S: Zzzzzzzz

-later-

MH: Give me one reason not to fire you now.

I: Uh... I... got information...?

MH: (*eyes narrow and does the 'I'm keeping my eye on you' gesture)

I: gulp


	12. Chapter 12

Oh maw gawd, is this what I think it is? It is! Another chapter! Sorry about the terribubble cat puns, i tried my best.

* * *

I: Next up is... (*checks notes once more) Nepeta Leijon?

Nepeta (N): :33 Yup!

N: :33 *ac's tail flicks in excitement for her interview.

I: Uh, what are you doing?

N: :33 ac explains to the question purrson that she is role purrlaying as her lusus, Pounce De Leon.

I: Errrrrr, yes, well. Can you please stop doing that?

N: :33 ac looks sad as she wonpurrs why she has to stop.

I: Because it is sort of annoying what I am trying to ask you questions.

N: :33 Oh, alright.

I: Good, so tell me what you usually do on... (*back to the notes) Alternia?

N: :33 Oh, well I usually hunt lusii, claw shipping charts on the walls of my cave.

I: Er, shipping charts?

N: :33 Yes! I love to ship all of my furrends together. It's furry fun!

I: You... hunt. And... ship your friends together?

N: :33 Hunting is so fun, and the meat is always tasty when mew catch it right!

I: Uh... (*says under breath) so a cat alien that ships her friends, nope. Nothing weird about that. All in a days work at shield.

N: :33 Uh. Ok... (?)

I: You said something about a lusus. What is that?

N: :33 Mew mean mew don't have lusii? Weird. Well, a troll's lusus is their guardian. A purrotector that takes care of them until the troll is old enough to fend fur themselves. It can be furry dangerous for a little troll with no lusus in Alternia, what with all the adult trolls around.

I: So, they are like your parents? (*wonders why the adults being around would mean danger)

N: :33 Parents?

I: I suppose you don't have those. So why wold it be dangerous for a little troll to be all alone?

N: :33 Oh well, such a little troll, no matter how skilled with a weapon, would surely get culled in an instant!

I: Culled? (*checks dictionary)

**Culled: verb: a selective slaughter; to be slaughtered**

I: :33 You would do that to your young! (*horrified)

N: :33 It is normal on Alternia, which is why wriggles need lusii!

I: (*wonders what a wriggler is but figures it is a little troll, also is still too horrified)

I: (*throws up in a bucket)

N: :33 33p, not anopurr one!


	13. Chapter 13

I'm so sorry this took so long, I hope you haven't given up on meeee! The thing is, I had this chapter written up but I accidentally deleted it all! So I had to then undergo the slow process of rewriting it. Sigh. Anyway, here is today's crappy chapter.

* * *

I: Kanaya Maryam I presume?

Kanaya (K): You Presume Correctly.

I: If I may add, you look quite fashionable.

K: Why Thank You. I Find Good Fashion Sense In Trolls So Hard To Find These Days.

I: Well, as a girl myself i can relate.

K: What Would Being Of The Female Gender Have Anything To Do With it?

I: Oh, well, it's just that girl usually are more fashionable. (*stutters under Kanaya's glare)

K: (*eyes narrow and opens mouth to speak but is cut off)

I: So, your lipstick. It is a chainsaw. (*almost desperate to change subject)

K: Yes, I Find That One Must Always Be Prepared For A Fight While Staying Beautiful.

I: I see your point. (*nervously tense as if waiting for another 'magical chainsaw' to appear)

K: Is There Any Questions As To What Karkat Told You In His Interview?

I: Wait, how did you know- did you see, did he tell- oh, I'm getting a bit confused.

K: Karkat And Aradia Informed Of Their Interviews. Do You Wish To Know Anymore About Jade-Blooded Trolls?

I: Well, Karkat said something about you being a... rainbow drinker? What does that even mean?

K: The Human Equivalent To A Rainbow-Drinker Would Be A, What Are They Called? Oh Yes, A Vampire.

I: (*need I say what I is feeling right now?) A... Vampire? With... Magical chainsaw. (*tried desperately to become professional again) So, so why are they called rainbow drinkers?

K: Well Because We Drink Blood, As You Already Know, The Blood Of Trolls Are Many Varying Colors, Almost Like A Rainbow.

I: (*mutters unhappily) Jeez, this isn't even the helicarrier anymore, it's the twilight zone!

K: The Twilight Zone?

I: Nothing, just... Nothing. (*sighing in exasperation)

K: You Seem Quite Stressed Out. Maybe Talking To Someone About It Would Help.

I and K then proceeded to have a long and chummy conversation that strayed completely off track from I's stressful job. Sadly, her job was on the line because Maria Hill was now watching their progress on the monitor and face-keyboarding.


	14. Chapter 14

sorry for the long wait

* * *

Back in the Loki/Hulk cell, the trolls w ere bored.

Loki came to visit

He let the trolls go to mess with the 'p uny mortal humans'

The trolls side with Loki in world domin ation

They eventually take over the world with the help on an army of Loki fangirls an d the entire Homestuck fandom (i belong to both :3)

Hussie and Loki rule the world with laug hing maniacally

Bucket-hot-potatoe becomes a popular gam e world-wide

We all got to eat lucky charms

HU-RAY.

_**April Fools!**_

* * *

hahahahaha i just typed this up in a few seconds because i literally had nothing else written down for a next chapter. i 've been a bit busy recently but hopeful ly i will get the real next chapter up s oon


	15. Chapter 15- sorry

Hey guys, no, this is not an update but I want to apologize. I haven't been writing this story anymore, I have absolutely no idea what to do with it. This story (in my view) has slowly been going downhill and I don't know if I even want to finish it anymore. I may post another chapter again but I am not really planning it. Sorry guys.

~OrangeflowerOJ out


End file.
